Father's Day Talk (for those who asked)

Hymn number 296 in our hymnal is a poetic prayer to God. The text addresses Him as “Our Father, by whose name all fatherhood is known.” As we sing the second verse we are pleading with our Father:

“Our children bless, in ev’ry place,

That they may all behold thy face,

And, knowing thee, may grow in grace.”

When Jesus Christ cried out to His Father during His darkest night, He prayed for us, saying, “And this is life eternal, that they might know thee the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom thou hast sent” (John 17:3).

So many scriptures and songs express this longing--to know our Heavenly Father. In his conference talk in April 2018, Elder Brian K. Taylor said, “Coming to know our Father changes everything, especially our hearts, as His gentle Spirit confirms our true identity and great worth in His sight.”

When I think about coming to know God, not just know of Him but really know Him, I can feel a little overwhelmed. I mean, God can seem so ethereal, so big and mysterious and unknowable. To try to understand this concept I turn to something more instantly relatable to me, something I do know--my relationship with my own earthly dad.

My earliest memories of my dad are just glimpses. A giant work boot at the door, so big I could stand in it with both of my feet. A thrilling shoulder ride so, so high off the ground. Thick-rimmed glasses, scratchy whiskers. Rough, hairy hands strumming a guitar, hammering a nail, turning pages in a bedtime book. An underlying sense of safety.

I didn’t really know my dad, right at first. Knowing who he was and how he was took time and growth and maturity on my part. As I grew I learned that the man unashamedly loved a good play on words. He lit up when he got to make music. He could build anything, including bunk beds for my dolls, built-in benches for our enormous kitchen table, even the very house that sheltered us. He was quiet and reserved and yet he loved playing comical parts in community plays.

But even knowing all these facts about my dad did not mean I fully knew him. The times when I felt closest to him, when I think I saw his truest nature, were the hard times when I reached out and he was there. That night after my longest, hardest, hungriest high-school day of finals and after-school rehearsals and evening drivers’ ed in the rain, when I slumped into the kitchen for some Tylenol and there was my dad. He read my face and took me in his arms and the bad day melted away. Or that time at a family reunion at Aspen Grove, when I was about to leave on a mission and I was sick with fear, and I asked my dad for a blessing and we went into a little cabin and we talked about his life and my life, and what we had in common, and trusting in God’s answers and following through on scary things. And he gave me a blessing and the peace that filled that A-frame taught me more about my father’s love for me than I had ever known before.

When I reflect on these memories of my dad, I realize that coming to know my Heavenly Father is similar. I can know all the facts about Him that are available, but I can’t really know Him or feel His love for me until I reach out to Him and come to rely on Him.

Elder Taylor elaborates on how we can begin to know our Father. “God walks with us along the covenant path as we seek Him through prayerful pleadings, scriptural searchings, and obedient strivings.” So we can look at coming to know God as a threefold endeavor. We talk to Him (or plead with Him, or cry to Him) through prayer, we learn of Him in the scriptures, and we do our best to obey His word and live as He has taught us. I like how Elder Taylor says that as we do these things, our Father “walks with us along the covenant path.” He is not some distant judge sitting at the finish line, wondering if we’ll ever show up. He is with us as we walk.

I want to quote another hymn here, because hymns often teach me doctrine better than anything else. This is “How Firm a Foundation.”

“When through the deep waters I call thee to go,

The rivers of sorrow shall not thee o’erflow,

For I will be with thee, thy troubles to bless,

And sanctify to thee thy deepest distress.”

And then listen to verse 6, which is less well-known but which contains an image I love, of people who are older still needing to feel that safe, parental love:

“Even down to old age, all my people shall prove

My sovereign, eternal, unchangeable love;

And then, when gray hair shall their temples adorn,

Like lambs shall they still in my bosom be borne.”

This verse speaks to me, because I can see as I grow less and less young that our yearning for Heavenly love and care and acceptance never goes away. I believe what this hymn says, that He will be with us through rivers of sorrow and fiery trials, through sickness and health, in poverty and wealth. I admit that it’s hard to feel Him near sometimes, and that this life is messy and hard and we can often feel alone. But I have felt my Heavenly parents’ love for me enough times to know that it’s always worth it to keep striving and seeking.

My earthly father passed away 4½ years ago. But even though I’m separated from him now, I’m still getting to know him. I have his journals and other writings to read. I have my own evolving experience as a parent, which brings new understanding and amazement about the ways he parented me with all he had to deal with at the time. I have five brothers who came from him and who all have their own similarities to him that I just love. One of them makes beautiful things out of wood, each more impressive than the last. One shares my dad’s sincerity, humility, and love of corny jokes. One has discovered an affinity for community theater and is doing my dad proud on the stage. He also looks so much like my dad it can stop my breath. They all have musical talent and they aren’t afraid to share it. They are wonderful brothers and fathers and I know exactly where that goodness comes from.

Elder Taylor said, “Learning of and following the Savior helps us come to know the Father. ‘Being . . . the express image of his [Father],’ Jesus taught, ‘The Son can do nothing of himself, but what he seeth the Father do.’ Christ’s every word and deed reveals the true nature of God and our relationship to Him.”

We may not have many details available about our Heavenly Father, but everything we learn about His Son gives us greater understanding of Him. Jesus Christ and His Father are one in purpose, and one in love. The Father gave us His only begotten Son. He loves us that much. It is our lifelong privilege to learn to feel and accept that love.

On this Father’s Day I give thanks for my own father. He instilled in me a sense of my own worth and a firm foundation of love that cannot die. I’m thankful for the father of my children, this hardworking Idaho farm boy who daily shares with his kids his love of good food and good music and good jokes, who supports them and protects them and shows them what the love of a father feels like. I don’t think they know yet how blessed they are to have him. But they will.

I know that not everyone gets to grow up with this sure, strong love from a good father. It goes without saying that life is not fair. I know this day can be hard for people for a variety of reasons. But I know that all of us, every person in this room, has been given a strong foundation of never-ending love and infinite worth that comes from before we were born. It’s a matter of striving to tap into it. Elder Taylor said, “I love the God of my fathers, ‘the Lord God Almighty,’ who weeps with us in our sorrows, patiently chastens our unrighteousness, and rejoices when we seek to ‘give away all [our] sins to know [Him].’ I worship Him, who is ever ‘a father of the fatherless’ and a companion to the companionless.”

I have felt my Heavenly Father’s love for me many times throughout my life. I’ve felt it fill me up when I’ve fallen to my knees. I’ve felt it as I’ve served His children. I’ve felt it as I’ve mourned my parents and welcomed my newborns. I know it is real. I know He is there.

I close with these words Elder Taylor quoted from Brigham Young:

“When you . . . see our Father, you will see a being with whom you have long been acquainted, and he will receive you into his arms, and you will be ready to fall into his embrace and kiss him.”

May we continue to seek Him and to feel His great love for us until we reach that day.